Be Passionate.

I've been complaining that there are no eligible men around me, and that's just not true. This was pointed out a few days ago by an outspoken friend who doesn't like me being single, and she's the kind of person who "puts an end to" things she doesn't like. She pointed out the names of two eligible men in my life. Both are friendly, successful, and I have a lot in common with each.

And yet they're unattractive to me, and my friend asked why. My gut answer was that I found them physically unappealing, but I knew that how attractive they are to me is entirely subjective. Why did I find them so unappealing?

I know them both very well and have for several years, and neither has any passion. Neither seems ever to be joyously happy or enraged. (Yeah, enraged, it's nice to know something will get you all pissed off.) They are neither fascinated nor bored by art or nature or music, and neither particularly loves or hates animals, children, or God, or any of the other things people are passionate about one way or the other, like Twitter, Dave Eggers, and raw tomatoes.

Neither has a trigger nor any outward signs of being inspired by things around them. They're good men and I love them but I find them unattractive for this.

So I crave passion. I look for passion in men because I have it myself. Like seeks like, as it were.

I've always been passionate, but have been suppressing it. On the anger side, a little holding back at work and a little sparing feeling here and there and suddenly all the crazy is gone. And joy? A few years of ripened pessimism and apathy fueled by cable news and economic surplus will take of that in a flash. The last time I was joyful I took a bet to ride my bike down a steep hill no hands and did it. Pure joy.

I vowed to release my passion again. If I want to attract passion I have to be passionate myself.

Be passionate.

Tomorrow: Avoiding the Wrong Path

Peace,
D.